Try Rubbery Lumps

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From: Improving a Mutton Island courtship


A delight for only some of the senses, but nevertheless, a Mutton Island tradition.


Challenge information

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  • 18 - very chancy (43%)
  • 22 - chancy (52%)
  • 26 - modest (62%)
  • 30 - very modest (72%)
  • 34 - low-risk (81%)
  • 38 - straightforward (91%)
  • 42 - straightforward (100%)

Success

A rubbery surprise

(see table below)

Description summary:
The text varies with

Mutton Island CourtshipDescription
1 - The Custodial Chef and the Roaming RepleteThe noise is appalling. The slurping, the smacking, the chewing and – worst of all – the crunching. Neither the Roaming Replete nor the Custodial Chef say a word, but both are, nevertheless, entirely and completely content.
2 - The Custodial Chef and the Dashing DrownieThe Custodial Chef and the Dashing Drownie negotiate the Rubbery Lumps with care; the former demonstrating how best to navigate the foreign delicacy, and more importantly how to avoid getting most of it in the zee.
3 - The Custodial Chef and the Hooded LadyIt's all going well until the Custodial Chef declares the Lumps the finest he's ever eaten. The Hooded Woman's expression is thunderstruck, or perhaps more accurately, suggests someone else is about to be thunderstruck and soon.
4 - The Melancholy Curate and the Roaming RepleteThe Melancholy Curate watches the Roaming Replete attack the Rubbery Lumps with mild alarm, and then, after a few moments of determined crunching, something approaching respect.
5 - The Melancholy Curate and the Dashing DrownieThe Dashing Drownie eats his lump from out of the Melancholy Curate's hands, as to avoid spilling any into the briny zee. The Curate's hands shake as he touches the Drownie's chin.
6 - The Melancholy Curate and the Hooded Lady"Here, this'll put hairs on yer hairs." The Hooded Woman is not satisfied until the Curate has eaten every last one of his Lumps. "Too bloody skinny," she says, but not unkindly.
7 - Jervaise and the Roaming RepleteJervaise selects the perfect wine to accompany the Rubbery Lumps, the combination of which sends the Roaming Replete into culinary raptures. "The wines of my home are often too sweet," she complains through mouthfuls of Lump.
8 - Jervaise and the Dashing DrownieThe Dashing Drownie abandons his Lump after one bite. "What say I fetch us some nice fresh fish instead?" Jervaise's eyes widen. "Oh thank God," he says. "Yes, please."
9 - Jervaise and the Hooded LadyThe Hooded Woman gives Jervaise a look of unmistakeable fondness as she bites into her Lump, spraying fluids gently across the grass. "My, my," she says, "Once tasted, never forgot. Jervaise you rotten fool, you shouldn't have!"

[Find the rest of the story at https://www.fallenlondon.com]

With 1, 2, 4 - 9:

With 3:


Failure

A strong reaction

Are the Lumps not up to their usual standard? Has something got into the batter? Whatever the reason, both parties find themselves hacking and expectorating most violently. The appointment is called off with all haste.