Consult the Querulous Theologian (Parish Council)

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From: Consulting the Parish Council

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Her advice carries with it the weight of centuries of doctrine, filtered through the dark glass of the Neath. Her opinions come with footnotes.

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Success

A muffled opinion

(See table below)

Description summary:
The advice given varies based on the .

Decision before the Parish CouncilDescription
1: Dedication"I must insist we choose an actual saint," the Theologian says, consulting a hefty encyclopedia of hagiography. "We'll have a tough time convincing people […] if we're asking them to come to Saint Definitely-not-made-up-after-a-bottle-of-port's."
2: DecorationThe Theologian smiles. "Well, obviously we should spend in excess. We want people to come don't we? And besides what else are you saving all that money for? A gold statue of Mr Wines?"
3: LiturgyThe Theologian frowns. "We face much adversity in this venture. From our location, from the established church, from literal devils. We should, therefore, encourage a united front. As we rise, we rise as one. Proverbs 17:17. Um, sort of."
4: Old Churchyard[…] "Isaiah 1:16-20 has what we need, I think. […] whatever they were before, they are now on church ground. As such, we should welcome them, once purified." She smiles, evidently delighted to have cause to demonstrate her expertise.
5: Collection Plate"Public good works, that's the ticket," the Theologian says. "Got St Cyriac's out of a number of tight spots. Especially that recovered gospel we published that suggested St Thomas got a bit lost and preached to the Rubberies. […]
6: Drummer's Pilgrims"Let them in," the Theologian implores. "They've come all this way and the least we can do is put them straight[…] Besides, I do a mean Black Forest gateau – if I do say so myself – and if that doesn't bring them to convert, I don't know what will."
7: The Drummer's Due[…] "That creature is a menace. This is a sacred place! A place of learning! A place of tranquillity," she roars. "And he is ruining it! I suggest blowing him up." And if that isn't possible? […] "Just find some way to spite him..."
8: Daughter Church[…] "The soil between here and London is not the most promising for putting down the seeds of religion, but then we have built a Church out in the wild here. I'd suggest Ealing Gardens as a tether, though, between us and London." […]

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